It was another balmy summer day.  I had written 5 short articles in the past 18 hours and had another two due in two days.  This is to say nothing of my efforts to help edit and prepare the massive Bully 1st Anniversary Issue.  Then a phone call came from D.C.  An editor had just got word that in Kansas the state school board had remove evolution from its required science curriculum.  He wondered if I could bang out a piece for him on it and its parallels to the Scopes Monkey Trial of 1925.

I panicked.  I couldn't pass up this high profile piece, but when could I possibly get it done?  And if I refused outright I'd never write for his journal again.  So I feigned disaster.  "Hello, sir?  Sir?  Are you there?"  I cried into the phone and then popped the cord from the phone's back.

I then fled to the corner store.  I had come there just to escape my flat and perhaps find something to eat.  Instead, I caught myself lingering by the beer coolers and eyebaling the Mexican beers.  "That's it," I thought, "I'll have a tasting and write upon it."

There was no logic in any of this.  I had far too much to write already- why create more work?  My rationale must have been- I want to drink, but I have to work, so I shall combine these two tasks.  And so it was.

Three Mexican beers came home with me: Sol Especial, Carta Blanca, and Modelo Especial.  I decided to sample them in a rational manner- round one, straight up, round two- with lemon, round three- with lime.

Straight Up Round
Carta- Salty as hell. Light yellow in color, like Miller.  Reminds me of taking nips from my father's Pabst afer he had dumped half a shaker of salt in it.

Modelo- Slightly more golden than carta.  Has a light Canadian skunk.  Otherwise, slightly salty.

Sol- Lightest in color, like Miller light.  Dry, and a hint bitter.  Almost like a saltless cracker in its blandness.

Lemon Round
Carta- Lemon pointless, the salt overwelms it.

Modelo- Lemon blends nicely with skunk and salt.

Sol- Lemon can do nothing to overcome the blandness.

Lime Round
Carta- Again, there's no point- it's still salty.  Only if I ram a whole damn lime in there will it taste differently.  Then it will be Tequiza.

Modelo- Lime clashes; no, it's just wrong.

Sol- Hark, Sol comes to life, barely.  With a fat lime wedge then Sol tastes decent, though as it warms it gets rather gamey.

Summary
So, on the whole, each beer wins one category. Carta is good straight up as its saltiness pleases the tongue on a hot day. (Rating **)

With lemon, Modelo is clearly the best, tasting almost (but clearly not) like Corona with lemon. (Rating **1/2)

Finally, with lime, Sol is at its best.  But you must use a lot of lime and definitely keep the beer cold, otherwise its ricey-blandness begins to overcome the lime.  (Rating **)

But I suppose I ought not close without confessing that none of these beers really struck my fancy.  While none were ghastly, like Red, White and Blue or Old Dutch,excepting Modelo with a lemon, these beers came off cheap, as in made with crummy grains.  They lacked the gusto and character of Dos Equis,weren't crisp like Pacifico or Corona, and...well, you get the gist.  If it is the cheapest beer available, sure, I'lll buy up.  If any of these were free, sure, I'd drink up.  But I can't see going out of my way for any of them.